i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize