Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
