He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
