what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
