Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
