It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
