I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need to calm my uterus...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
