I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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