Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
