You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Welp...herpes.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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