After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My life is pants optional.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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