Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
