THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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