3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
