My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
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