a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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