It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
