I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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