What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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