I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
