he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He better not be in your backpack
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
