And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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