omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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