If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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