I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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