i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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