You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
