sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
