I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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