he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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