That's intense
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This house was built for laser tag.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
