we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
