called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
