idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
