ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
