Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
