Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
