And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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