Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
