Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
