She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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