we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is classic penis vs brain.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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