i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
