Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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