There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
