Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
