i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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