just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
