i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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