Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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