you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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