so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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