READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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