I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
