She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
