I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just pee around me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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