If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
